Revenge of The Doppelgangers . FOOTBALL EDITION

Realizing your favorite football player/figure looks like an international celebrity is always fun. Some look-alikes from the football side :

LA LIGA

1) Xabi Alonso (Real Madrid Midfielder)

Doppelganger(s) : Jason Bateman / Michael C. Hall

Xabi and Jason are uncanny. From the red locks and scruff, to the weirdly cute pointed nose, and the small-shaped eyes, for all we know they could actually be stuck in a real life cross-country "It Takes Two" situation. But Pepe Reina begs to differ and thinks Xabi looks like Michael C. Hall better. Personally, I'd say he looks more like Jason Bateman but who am I to argue with San Reina?

2) Enrique Sanchez Flores (Atletico Madrid Manager)

Doppelganger : Hugh Laurie

The first time I laid eyes on Flores my first thought was "What is the doctor doing here? Doesn't he know people need to be saved?? Where is his cane!!!" but then I realized I was watching football not House so that couldn't be Hugh Laurie. Well, it could be if Hugh has a thing for spanish football but that seems unlikely. To me Flores is like a younger-unbroken-spanish version of Dr. House in my head. If he needed a costume for Halloween all he would need is a vest, jacket, cane, a sour attitude and he'd be set!

3) Dani Benitez (Granada FC Midfielder)

Doppelganger : Steve Buscemi

Now at first I didn't realize this, he actually reminded me of Chicharito the first time because of his beady eyes. But even though they both have that in common they hardly look like the same person. But then someone mentioned Boardwalk Empire on twitter during last night's Granada game against Barcelona and there was a sudden *click* in my head. Again, the (much) tanner, younger, spanish version of Buscemi, of course.

THE PREMIERE LEAGUE

1) Stewart Downing (Liverpool FC Winger)

Doppelganger(s) : Christian Bale/Jason Mraz

Another set of triplets! Bale was pointed out to me by a fellow female footy friend and, although I've never been fond of the actor, can't deny they have the similar face features. In this case of course I'd be more accepting of Stewart being Jason Mraz's twin because I just love his music. But Batman or Musician, this group of doppelgangers is obviously not short on talent. It's like they've divided themselves to conquer the world through football, film and music. Better watch out.

2) Andre Villas Boas (Chelsea FC Manager)

Doppelganger : Patrick Dempsey

Can you even with the hair? Because it's really driving me insane - in a good way. Being the Grey's Anatomy fan that I am, I propose the writers create a special storyline just so we get to see these two together at the same time on screen. Or maybe Roman Abramovich would be so kind as to invite the Dr. McDreamy actor to a Chelsea game to experience some english football so we can atleast see them on the same pitch. Wouldn't that be a delight? I'll get the online petition started.

BUNDESLIGA

1) Mats Hummels (Borussia Dortmund Center Back)

Doppelganger : Orlando Bloom

Epiphany came when I saw a picture of Hummels and thought it was Orlando Bloom instead. Is Hummels really German? Is he sure he's not English like Orlando is? They could definitely have came from the same mother AND father, I mean really. It's kind of rediculous how they both have the facial hair growing in the same places too.

2) Michael Ballack (Bayer Leverkusen Central Midfielder)

Doppelganger : Matt Damon

Michael will always be one of my favorite German players to date. I don't care what people say about him, first loves never fade and that goes the same for football crushes. Pleasantly surprised when I came to the realization that he looks like Matt Damon's foreign brother. Now instead of being captain of the German NT, Matt could fit Michael into one of the lead roles in his movies. A little dye and no one will even notice. Win-win for everyone.

x Natasha

The Man Who Ruined a Million Dreams

This might look like your average wanted man on a reward poster for his capture, but it is not. It's the picture of a man so powerful and evil he was able to crush the dreams of millions during a life and death situation. 

Okay, maybe I've exaggerated a little. It's really a grudgingly edited picture of current Sevilla goalie, Javi Varas, who almost single-handedly stopped Barcelona from winning - scratch that - scoring a single goal during their recent encounter with Sevilla. I say almost because although he made what was probably the highlight and performance in all of his football career, half of the other credit really goes to the Sevilla defense that was achingly superb. Although if I was being honest I'd have to say that if Varas wasn't their goalie that night I'm not sure Sevilla would have managed to have a clean sheet. 

He managed to save shoots from the likes of Andres Iniesta, David Villa, and most importantly, Lionel Messi. Repeatedly. Twelve saves in total and one of those Messi saves was a penalty kick (whaaat).

Probably the most talked about and hated man in Barcelona right now, I seriously have a love/hate relationship with this talented evil goal-keeper.

Warrant is out for his arrest. Crime? Denying my Barcelona their kicks and tricks.

Reward can be withheld due to circumstances of financial instability.

x Natasha

The Race Case

Since the beginning of football time, one of the things that has been essentially a sensitive issue in the sport is racism. It appears every now and then whenever the game turns into a wrestling match at the end of the day media reports suggest racial abuse as cause for the commotion, and this seems to be getting more and more common. Racism? In 2011? It appears so.

CASES IN POINT :

(*) Last el clasico in August. You might have heard of it, the one where Mou pokes an eye out? During all the chaos RM star scorer, Mesut Ozil, was seen furiously trying to have a go at David Villa. Unusual because Mesut Ozil isn't really the type of player to get into a fight. Later accusations started to surface that Villa had insulted Ozil, who is Muslim, religiously. Villa denied the reports and later on the truth of David actually slapping Ozil during the brawl explained how a mad Ozil had come to life. 

(*) After Liverpool’s big game against Manchester United. Nothing eventful happened on the pitch but the racial fire started post-game when Patrice Evra started making claims of Luis Suarez calling him a racist name 10 times during the game. Luis has vehemently denied that claim, the referee also denies any wrong-doing witnessed, and Liverpool is staying behind the player's statement of innocence. An FA investigation has been launched and depending on the result either one of the players involved will be facing heavy consequences. 

(*) Another Barcelona-related one (FC Dramalona lol), their latest match against Sevilla last weekend. A brawl was released on the pitch suddenly before a free kick was to be taken, involving Frederic Kanoute and Cesc Fabregas. Cameras showed a raging Kanoute holding Fabregas by the neck and knocking the number 4 player down to the ground, infuriating his fellow Blaugrana team mates. The next day the Spanish press was all over the case calling Fabregas a racist because the fight was set by him making an insult at a Muslim Kanoute. 

All three of these cases have happened in the span of less than 3 months. That’s a lot in a pretty short time. And it annoys me to no end when I hear my favorite player being called a racist bigot because of such cases like these. Now, before anyone accuses me of being biased when giving these men the benefit of the doubt, let me just point out that this is my blog so you must deal with it. No, but really, I’m not just trying to defend them because they are players I heart but because there is no evidence that the allegations are true and what bothers me the most is it still gets printed as so in the media. The cause of the first case turned out to be nothing but David with his trademark brawl-slap, it had nothing to do with racism. Bear in mind that Ozil has never made an official statement about Villa insulting his religion and has only been quoted saying so by the media. How did the media manage to make this fight about race? Is it because Villa has a slapping track record and Ozil just so happens to be a Muslim so everyone automatically thinks the fight was because of that? Luis likes to throw bottles and bite people, so the public just assumes he’s emotional enough to say racist shit to an opponent to wind him up? Not for nothing, but Evra has been caught in 3 other race cases before this with 3 different parties that were proven untrue. Basically he's now a walking joke. 

The third case is probably the most rediculous. Even after Kanoute has denied the rumors of his fight with Cesc was because of bigotry and them setting things straight mutually, lots of people still seem to believe otherwise. For Cesc to take to twitter to point out why he could never be racist might seem dramatic but I think it just really bothers him that people could think he's a racist, especially since he's had Muslims and black players as team-mates from his time at Arsenal up until now. 

It's very concerning how 2 out of these 3 cases have turned out to be nothing but false accusations or misunderstandings. Not by the person involved but by the media. The press always manages to make something into something else that it isn't but bringing racism into the picture is a new low. It's understandable that journalists want to 'spice up a story' but writing in fabricated reports containing racism is another thing. Maybe it's not about spicing things up, maybe some journos really do believe race was the issue in the center of these fights? But if these assumptions are what come to mind everytime players of different beliefs and racial backgrounds get in the middle of it, how are anti-racist campaigns like Unite Against Racism going to actually make a difference? This type of narrow-mindedness needs to go away. If you always think everyone is a racist, well, then racism will never end will it? It seems that not only racism itself has to be diminished, racist assumption has to be too. 

I am in no way saying racist allegations shouldn't be taken seriously. They should and FA needs to carry out the investigations properly until the truth is revealed and justice is served. And even though the facts in the Evra-Suarez investigation make Evra's claims seem unlikely, the case still needs to be dealt with properly. It's easy to call sides without any solid proof and solely based on your party of preference. United fans have been quick to call Suarez a racist after these claims were made public, and Liverpool fans (including myself) have as quickly stepped up to defend his innocence every chance given. All of this basically without any concrete proof of what actually happened on the pitch. Racism has been an ongoing issue in the football world and it would be very naive to think that has changed even with us going on year 2012, especially understanding that a lot of the times players who do endure racial abuse tend to not report the incident. But I also don't want people - players and press a-like - thinking it's okay to just make-up these kind of stories ever so lightly, because accusing someone of racism is as serious as a heart-attack and almost as dumb as being an actual racist.

x Natasha

It's a Hairy Situation

When it comes down to it, football isn't just about football. Well, it kind of is but people forget about that when other things come to light. 

One of those things could be hair.

Yes, hair. Not to take away from the beauty of the game and all, but how can spectators not comment on their players' crown when it's stuck onto their head forever and they have to look at it? A lot of footballers aren't exactly aliens when it comes to the do's and woes of hairstyling on the pitch, some even relish in it, and this season has not failed to bring us some of the most talked about hair in the game.

HAIR SPECIMEN #1 : Andy Carroll and his "Rockstar Hobo" look

                                         

Besides of his enormous sasquatch-esque stature, Andy can always be easily spotted on the pitch due to his bouncing tail. When he first joined Liverpool he only had one space of hair that grabbed our attention, but then he decided to push the envelope and give us another space to notice. Luckily, locker room talk put an end to that creature and now we're just left with his pretty little mane of hair that frolicks in the wind everytime he moves for a kick. Let's just hope he stays clean. I'm talking about his hair of course, and nothing else. Eherm.

Old-School Throwback to : Paolo Maldini. His brunette locks might just be the most well-known frame of mane in Italian football history.

HAIR SPECIMEN #2 : Cesc Fabregas and his "Rebel without a Cause" shag

Remember Cesc back when he had shorter hair? Me neither. Now he has this not-so-shagalicious set of hair that's too long for it's own good. If you think I'm being over-dramatic, what would you think if I told you about holding his new FIFA12 for ransom in exchange that he get a haircut? Because that's what Pique did on twitter. It even sparked some sort of a movement. But since his goal average has been flawless even with that disaster on his head, maybe we should just keep to ourselves about it...... lol just kidding. Just because you're cute doesn't mean you can have bad hair, Cesc.

Old-School Throwback to : Luis Figo. I'm pretty sure it looked better on Luis but maybe that's just me.

HAIR SPECIMEN #3 : Mario Balotelli and his "Mohawk of Doom" look

The mohawk is certainly a style we've seen plenty over the years, but only a few can pull it off with ease. After he decided to take on this challenging hairstyle, every now and then during a game it's either his hair or his love for iPad that's used as bad pun jokes by commentators. I for one have my personal theories of where he got his inspiration from. He's gone back to being bald now but rest assured his mohawk will be one of the more memorable mohawks in football.

Old-School Throwback to : Freddie Ljunberg. Judge the red all you want but Fred's mohawk is the best football mohawk of all time. OF ALL TIME.

HAIR SPECIMEN #4 : Fernando Torres and his "Long Blonde 2.0" hair

In the female world when we want to get rid of the past (like maybe if we want to forget about a bad experience, or maybe gone through a rough break-up and start fresh) we girls like to cut our hair. Change it up. Maybe it's the same for guys. Atleast it seems to be the same with Torres. According to my internet knowledge and vast pool of female footy friends, Torres' hot-o-meter shot to unbelievable heights when he cut his famous bottle-blonde hair short and went back to his natural brunette color. But that happened after a marking injury, leaving his stamina and skills on the pitch not the same. Everyone jumped to the connection between his lack of skills and the length & color of his hair. He's never really been the same Torres since and now it seems he wants to go back to his glory days by growing out his hair again and dying it some shit blonde, like the situation of his hair will somehow magically give him back his football powers on the field. We all knew that wasn't going to happen even before he tortured his hair. It doesn't even look the same! So not only is he playing badly, he also looks like a lesbian now. 

Old-School Throwback to : .....umm, his old self?

Feel free to comment on any other hair that should be on the "honorable mentions" list.


x Natasha