Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Bros Before You-Know-Whats

Tis the time of the year where couples show off their love for one another in some inappropriate ways and single people seem more aware of their single status. Valentine's Day is either annoying or really great, depending on your situation. But there is another type of love far superior than your average adam and eve. This kind of romance is a different kind, a better, more important kind of love - it's the baller bromance.

One of the best things about football players is that, aside from their macho and manly public persona, they have absolute disregard for personal space with their teammates, which often leads to epic bromances being born. We should celebrate that. It IS the day for all loves, right?

I know I'm late on posting this but it is forever a relevant topic, okay.

TOP BALLER BROMANCES [with ratings!]

*the bigger and more rainbow ratings a bromance has, the less hetero and more epic it is


(1) BENDTSEY . Nicklas Bendtner/Aaron Ramsey


Nicklas, or Nicky as I like to call him (because we're tight like that), is one of my favorite players. Not necessarily on the pitch, but more regards to his wonderfully weird personality and Danish beauty. Back when things were a bit off the leash (understatement) and Nicky was still a Gunner, him and Aaron were really close. Seems like an odd pair, what with Aaron and his clean-cut good boy image and Nicky and his..... not-so-good-boy image. But love knows no bounds, ey? Nicky looked after him when Aaron got injured on the pitch and stood up to any prick trying to have a go at his mate. Dedicating a game for your woman lover is one thing, but he dedicated a whole league win to Aaron. They even shared clothing, for heaven's sake! After Nicky left Arsenal, he still likes to make little shout outs for his former club and his little homie. Certainly best friends for -effing- ever.


Bromance rated : 
                            



(2) BECKSILLAS . David Beckham/Iker Casillas


One of the oldest bromances out there, of course I had to put these two buddies on my list. When Beckham and Casillas were in the same team at Real Madrid, they were very cheesy intimate friends and Becks' boys loved Uncle Iker. I do wonder how they even managed to communicate since I'm pretty sure Iker can't speak any english without google translate and Beckham has zero spanish skills. I guess feelings (and a lot of hand gesturing) are more powerful than words. Becks also rooted for his Spanish amigo during the race to win the coveted Ballon d'Or in 2010 because, well, Iker is his friend. Still friends after all this time and all these non-translatable words. A true bromance.


Bromance rated : 
                                     



(3) XAVIESTA . Xavi Hernandez/Andres Iniesta



You have to be real close with someone if they post a naked picture of you on the internet to your adoring fans without hesitation. Their closeness manifests into the work place, where Xavi and Iniesta are worshipped upon as the perfect duet on a daily basis. They basically do everything together - play together, win trophies and awards together, just down right be awesome together. What more could a friendship ask for? Like peanut butter and jam, they complete each other. Their bond is so strong, they have a kind of telepathic lingo on the field that only they understand, like super identical twins or something (7:37-8:04) which works wonders for Barcelona. One of the best midfield affairs in years.

Bromance rated : 
                             
                              


(4) RALVARO . Raul Albiol/Alvaro Arbeloa


These cheeky clowns are two of my favorites, especially with the fact that it seems like they are always. with. each. other. Hobbies include causing mischief together and spying on classy Ginger spainiards, even during National Team duty. They also have a lot in common, like their love for England. Truly as if an old married couple, I'm sure Alvaro's also the one that got Raul to finally lose the caveman do'. One of the funniest and certainly best looking bromances in football, I hope they never have to part from one another.


Bromance rated : 
                                                         



(5) FABRIYOL . Cesc Fabregas/Gerard Pique/Carles Puyol


We have ourselves a football threesome here people! Fond memories of this three-way bromance (famously dubbed as the MOC MOC TRIO) like that time they had a tweetsome over Christmas trees. Pique and Cesc developed their friendship first, being both La Masia bred from their early years. Mama Pique has said that Cesc is just like part of the family and Pique loves Carlota Fabregas like his own little sister. Then, somewhere along the way Puyol thought it was a good idea to join these fools and form a trio. I guess all that shouting Puyol had to do on the pitch to keep Pique in line was the start of something beautiful. These brothers show that friendship transcends age, given the fact that Pique and Cesc are both many years Puyol's junior. I think Captain Puyol may be a young soul at heart, which is the only explanation to this combo, really.


Bromance rated : 
                            



(6) GERLONSO . Steven Gerrard/Xabi Alonso



Once upon a time, there was a great Spanish lad that was moved to one of the greatest football clubs in England, where he befriended a handsome Scouse captain who helped him ease into his overseas transition. This pair has got to be one of the most beloved football bromances, especially among Liverpool fans. Not the only one to lock lips, but definitely the most talked about, these two have only love and mutual respect for one another. Even after the bromance was cut off ever so-rudely, the adoration carries on. Stevie obviously wouldn't mind having him back, and I don't think Xabi would mind coming back either. It's epic because it can never be fulfilled (says Woody Allen movies).

Bromance rated : 



Just goes to show that real men aren't afraid to show their feelings.


Happy belated Valentine's Day!


x Natasha

Saturday, February 11, 2012

The Future of England Does Not Involve the Queen

The captain of your National Team is in hot waters and humiliatingly stripped of the captain band for the whole world to see, causing a major English football meltdown. What is your next step as manager?

Well, the only sensible thing would be to not only tell them bastards how you really feel about the whole situation, but also resign from your managerial position altogether. Obviously.

While Wayne Rooney and Rio Ferdinand are out campaigning to support good old 'Arry and his dogs for next England NT manager, I've been meditating by my imaginary waterfall to think of who I'd give my support to in hopes of carrying on the burden left behind by Fabio Capello. These are the top candidates that come to mind, in no particular order. 'Cause it doesn't really matter anyway.

MARADONA


Loved by all and hated by many, this crazy old hombre could be a good asset to the England NT. Yes, he might be really loud and loco, but that's the beauty of it all. It's not like the England NT are favorites to win the World Cup (like, ever) so might as well add some more spice to the soup, I am just sayin'. This legend is entertaining, which is what football is all about. And even though he's not actually English, at least he can speak english. I think.


ROY HODGSON



He already has the perfect track record to continue on what the England NT was already doing, so he won't have trouble fitting into the role. He's old and saggy and not really that good at it, but he's - wait for it - he's ENGLISH! Isn't that what the English public wants? A "real Englishman" for the English team. We should give them what they want. Football is for the people, you know. Hashtag #HodgsonforEngland to show your support!


PIERS MORGAN



Also known as the Simon Cowell for the poor man, he's apparently one of the best sports pundits available out there at the moment. CNN hired him so that right there is automatic legitimacy in his competence and intelligence. He's very humble and charming. He's really into football and he's the kind of guy who is very consistent with everything he says. Well, sort of. Kind of. Okay, not really.

And yes, that advertisement behind him is real.


ANFIELD CAT


Already a football sensation with an ever-growing twitter following, this ferocious feline might be just what the Three Lions needs. He (or she? I think it's a he) is funny, clever, witty, and knows what's up. He's already made friends with people in high places. The fact that he hails from Liverpool might be a bit of a bump for his rise to the top job since the FA really loves that other kind of red, but I really think he's the number one for the position, you guys. Plus, if things don't work out with this one, we can always try the brother.

Now that's settled, what about the other super important position that John Terry left? Who ever it is that's going to replace him, England needs someone who isn't as a sleaze or descriminative as the former captain is because that would make things a bit awkward in England's locker room, wouldn't it?

High hopes for England! Cheers!


x Natasha