Real Dirty

What happens when you dress up a wild bull in a white jersey and release him on a football field during a big game against FC Barcelona?

That is what happens.

Everyone was furiously disgusted with this deliberate foul (you can see El Bull actually looking before he stepped on Messi's hand). And when I say everyone was mad I really mean EVERYONE - even the Moubsessed spanish press. Instead of their usual worship, the next day the headlines condemned the club, especially Pepe's infamous Messi stamp. One article even called Pepe "a public danger" like he was some sort of disease virus that was spreading around Spain.

I don't know what was going on in his brain when he thought stepping on Messi's hand would be an amazing idea to do, but you know it's really bad when even Wayne Rooney is calling you an idiot. Real Madrid made Pepe apologize publicly, but the damage to Real's image had been done. Who is going to believe in this PR crap? I don't think even the most deluded Madridista would fall for that shit. You know who he should be apologizing to directly? Umm, the guy who he actually stepped on. Just a suggestion.

To make the Real fiasco even worse, reports have been going public about a pretty intense dressing room squabble between Sergio Ramos and Los Blancos numero uno Jose Mourinho. Here is the confrontation that was overheard by everyone working under Real, since apparently they were all shouting at each other :

Mad Mou : "Serhio! You killed us! You killed us!"

The Ramos : "I did not kill you. You are still here, yes?"

Mad Mou : "I mean figuratively, you idiot!"

The Ramos : "Ohh..... figuratively. What does that mean?"

Mad Mou : "NEVERMIND WHAT IT MEANS. Where were you when Tarzan (Puyol) made his goal?!"

The Ramos : "I was guarding Pique, D'UUH."

San Iker : "Sir, if I may cut in-"

Mad Mou : "SHUT UP, IKER."

San Iker : "Okay."

Mad Mou : "Why were you on Pique?! You were suppose to be on Puyol!"

The Ramos : "Well, sometimes things get really confusing on the pitch - sometimes I get really confused anywhere - but at the time we decided to switch places cus I was watching Pique. He's a big mutherfu-"

Mad Mou : "Oh, so you're trying to be coach now, HUH??"

The Ramos : "No, but at least I've actually been on this kind of a pitch, unlike some people." 

Kaka : "Awww, snap."

Mad Mou : (scribbles in his notebook furiously)

That was all from my head but it's basically real since my imagination is as legit a source as Spanish media reports.

So, will this Real Madrid fiesta end in June?

Regardless, King Guardiola will be classily watching from his gold throne.

tears for Real

x Natasha