If You Like It You Should Put a List on It

It's that time of year where everyone is getting ready for stocking surprises, some eggnog and delightful choco chip cookies, and, for the luckier people living in colder weather, a bit of snow fall.

It's almost Christmas!

And what could be more fun than making a list of things you'd want to find under your tree?

A list of 4 football players from each position you'd want to find under your tree, that's what!

Here are the footballers I'd like to find wrapped up neatly in bows when I wake up, and why.

*GOALKEEPER -------- 

Now, this position is one of the hardest positions to be filled. I could go the Spanish route, staying true to my Spain NT fangirl self and choose from their "finest of the finest" goalie line-up. I could also go English instead, opting for the goalie i like and insist is wearing the wrong shade of kit. Or maybe I should be unpredictable and be nostalgic of the days where I cared about Serie A and decide on one of my longtime favorite goalies ever... 

PUT A BOW ON IT : Pepe Reina

WHY : I'd imagine after I've taken the red bow off his bald head he'd offer to cook me some Xmas churros so we can sit around the fireplace and talk about how awesome Liverpool is, and joke about Iker and his relationship with Facebook and Google Translate.

*DEFENDER --------

So many defenders, so little time. I have so many favorites, how can I possibly decide who I want Santa to bring me? There's my beast of a Scouser, my Giant Wall of Derp, that Brazilian beast, or le delicate Danish flower... kind of intrigued to ask for this guy too, just so I can see if I can make him cry at the Xmas party. Oh my god but there's also Kelldawgs, and etc etc etc etc (I could really go on and on in this category).

PUT A BOW ON IT : Jose Enrique

I don't know what's going on here
but I like it

WHY : Rumor has it he likes to show off his biceps. I'd like to watch him show off in my living room whilst eating smores. After he's done we could make prank calls to Grandpa Del Bosque as revenge for not calling up Enrique for National duty. (Seriously, shame on you, VDB)

*MIDFIELDER --------

I'm so predictable some people I know reading this blog who are aware of my undying love for Xavi will probably think I'm going to ask for him. But I think there's already too much Spanish up in this party and, well, I don't want to get charged by the FA so I might as well make this event racially diverse. Besides, me and Xavi are already soulmates anyway so I guess asking Mr. Claus for him would be kind of moot. So now I have to pick a non-Spanish midfielder? Why is that so ironic. 

PUT A BOW ON IT : Jack Wilshere

WHY : It's 2 for the price of 1! He'd have to bring cute little Archie with him, right? After Archie's had fun opening his own prezzies and fallen asleep, we could get drunk and I could finally check off "touch Jack Wilshere's dimples" off my bucketlist. I know he'll bring the Xmas spirit.

(note : I want to ask for Captain Fantastic but that would mean I'd also have to ask for the Ginger Prince. But if I asked for both of them they'd just pay attention to each other and make their own little world without me, which I can simply not abide to on Christmas.)

*FORWARD --------

Are Spanish and Argentinian too close to each other? Well, screw diversity, man. It's either this or another Spainiard. You have found my weakness.

PUT A BOW ON IT : Sergio Aguero

WHY : Other than the fact that I've been pining over how flawless his kicks are (also, his face), he seems like a nice guy. I really like his hair. Maybe he'll let me touch it and style it whilst he spills his deep feelings about how hard it is to be a player in a generally-hated club over a cup of hot cinnamon cocoa. I'd also like to discuss some other fashion choices for him on the pitch. Baby Benji could keep Baby Archie company, too.

I hope Santa and his reindeer don't deliver my order to the wrong house because not getting these presents would be the worst Xmas ever.

x Natasha

POST INSPIRATION

An Identity Crisis (or a marketing scheme - wait, what for though?)

What do Barcelona, Real Madrid and Chelsea have in common?

The answer : a visit from a little blond Canadian boy that likes to make tween girls scream and cry in their sleep.

Not sure what teen idol, Justin Bieber, is doing at Stamford Bridge, or any other famous footy stadium for that matter, but I heard from the great vines of the interweb that he gave the Blues a visit to look into a job position - Fernando Torres' job position.

Juuuuust kidding.

Wouldn't you believe it though? Annoying as he is, the kid has got some moves with the ball, not gonna lie.

Not that people would actually believe in this rumor has anything to do with the freckled striker's terrible shows and skills since his arrival at Stamford Bridge. He's been doing grrrrreat.

Punk-Ass Friend/Entourage : "Yo JB, where you at, homie?"

JB : "Just chilled with my boys Lamps and Fer at the Bridge. It was tight, yo."

Not a Chelsea lover, but his experiences meeting - and TRAINING - with top footballers all around the world is really making me eat jell-o.

As if it's not enough I have to see his face everywhere there's a potential tween market, now he has to stalk me into football territory. Football territory is my safe house. If I'm not even safe from the Biebs in the football world, nowhere is safe anymore!!!

Who does this kid think he is, going from one club to another and wearing their freakin' kits, Michael Owen?

first publicly recorded existence of a Blue Culedrista
anything is possible, people!

Blame Canada.

Next stop....... Emirates Stadium? (for the love of God let it be Emirates instead of Anfield)

x Natasha

What Is An Orderly Fashion

Poor Luis Suarez. With the media publicity from his most recent stint still lingering very strongly in the air, he has to accept FA's charges against him. By all means, it certainly is fair, of course, if he did indeed give Fulham fans a piece of Uruguay to remember. 

I'm certain after all this time the Football Association (FA) has already had experience in dealing with such acts of indecency. They are professionals! Obviously they have proper conduct to deal with issues of inappropriate behavior from a footballer.

Like when Gary Neville and Carlos Tevez were at each other like dumb high-school boys on the parking lot of a Seven-Eleven, trying to out-punk each other. Tevez gestured to Neville after his goal against his former club in a January 2010 match, being upset about Neville's comments surrounding the Argentinian's Manchester City pay. As a thank you, Neville gave him the finger. This nonsense was certainly not to be tolerated at all in the professional field of football sport! So FA took action after sending Neville a note warning him of the serious consequences he'd face for that rude hand gesture to a fellow footballer during an official match. They charged Neville with a- Umm, wait, hold on. Ah yes! They charged Neville for his improper hand behavior by- Err, by what exactly I'm not sure. Even though I didn't find any official report or statement regarding his charge, I'm sure the highly responsible FA charged him with something.

Okay, here's a better example of FA's intolerance against "fan abuse", which I think is a very important matter indeed! When Ashley Cole made those V-signs at Arsenal fans back in 2007, the FA did not take it lightly. After the incident, Cole was charged with a fine of- Umm, he was charged with... Hold on, there has GOT to be a charge here somewhere... Hmm, that's odd. There aren't any charges to be found over that one. I don't think he was even disciplined for that shooting incident either. Maybe FA was just too busy with other things. They do have a lot of business to take care of, you know, they can't just see to everything. Geez.

Mind you, I have another example that will surely prove that the FA's charge on Suarez is nothing but reasonable and has been done many times before. Remember that time Wayne Rooney made V-signs towards Chelsea fans during a match at Old Trafford in May 2011? After that incident, Rooney was heavily charged with- Wait, what was Rooney charged with? Hmm.. uh, he was charged with.. well, the referee of the match, Howard Webb, didn't report it anyway, so it's not important. Atleast they took care of Rooney's F-word camera shouting with 2 match-bans. No charges, just bans. I think that's alright.

Regardless of this all, I assure anyone reading my blog that the FA is in their rights to the charge of Luis Suarez for middle fingering those Fulham fans. Yes, I know, they were spouting hateful chants at him - calling him a cheater and such - but that does not mean his fingering the football fans is acceptable. As I've explained already throughout this post, the FA charges every player guilty of the same misconduct with the same charges.

one of the many faces of
football fair play

The FA charges everyone equally, regardless of their nationality. They are professionals, of course!

I can't prove it, but I'm sure of it.

Also, for charging Liverpool FC on the grounds of "failing to ensure their players conduct themselves in an orderly fashion" from Jay Spearing's Fulham game Red card. Orderly fashion, indeed! 

The FA is truly hands on dealing with the issues that matter the most.

x Natasha

***yes, this post was full-on sarcasm

****d' uur